Surgery Day has come

Yes, I had my emotional breakdown moment to finally accept that I HAVE CANCER! I can't believe this is my life, but it is. I do not feel sorry for myself, but there is a large range of emotions that someone will go through to let the realization set in, and assume ownership. Oh you bet I will fight, but how do you fight?? To me the idea of the best fight is having a positive outlook, and following a treatment plan personalized for me.

Thursday, September 3rd, 2020 is surgery day to remove the cancerous mass and, unfortunately that includes the area surrounding the mass which is my uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. Also, a sample of the lymph nodes in the pelvis will be needed. This sort of surgery can be devastating to many women of all ages. I was being told, "Well, you don't need that stuff now," because of my age. It doesn't mean that I didn't want to age gracefully through menopause with all my body parts. There is grief for this loss that I needed to work through. I can't imagine what this kind of news does to someone at age 22, 32, or 42? At these various ages, I would have reacted much differently. One thing regardless, as soon as cancer came into the picture, age stops to matter and preserving life begins.

Surgery day has come... actually I will be at the hospital the day prior for my pre-op appointment. It is mainly to answer important pre-surgery questions, so that there won't be any surprises tomorrow. Once the pre-op appointment was over, I was free to leave and "go home."

For me, this meant go back to the hotel room for the night. Our hotel is located close to our favourite restaurant, Red Lobster. Yummy... this will be my last meal before surgery.

Back to the room just to relax. Very difficult night ahead as I try to deal with pre-surgery gitters, and the pain that has become part of my daily life so that I can get some sleep. Pillows under the knees helps to ease the pain in my hip, side, and lower abdomen. Hugs from my husband, who is also trying to remain strong for me, but has his own worries. He will not be allowed into the hospital with me, due to Covid19 restrictions. He will basically have to sit outside the hospital in the parking lot or back at the hotel room that will be his home for the days I am in the hospital. He will be allowed one hour visit with me once per week. My hospital stay is expected to be 3 to 4 days, so one week basically. Thankfully, we have our phones so we can stay in touch. The surgeon will call him once I am out of surgery. Stupid Covid19... you have caused so much havoc, so many restrictions that alienate those in the hospital from their loved ones, who are mostly sitting outside in the parking lot waiting.

Despite all that is to come, I think I am ready...